Divorce is never a fun experience for anyone involved. The two former partners who no longer feel the same for each other, the kids who grew up seeing their parent’s love flourish only for it to fall apart, the family members that wanted only the best for the relationship.. It hurts everyone. But especially the kids.
Being a child of divorce myself, I can attest that we see things in a different light than others. We enter into relationships hoping that we can build them to last long, while also recognizing that they probably won’t. Here are five ways that children of divorce love differently:
Commitment is key for us – When you’re a kid and you can hear your parents constantly yelling and fighting at one another in the next room, it builds a void in your heart, because you can’t understand why the two most precious people in your life seem to hate one another. We know how fragile a relationship is, and that nothing is set in stone. Actions speak louder than words, so show us that you’re committed, don’t just tell us that you are.
Communication is vital – We’ve seen firsthand how lack of communication can break down even the strongest of relationships. We’ve heard our parents throw shade at one another in an effort to make the other look bad, which is why it really upsets us when we’re trying to figure out what’s wrong and all we get back is, “It’s nothing.” Tell us the truth, no matter how harsh it is.
We’re very aware – Caution is often at the forefront of entering any relationship for the child of divorce. We like to observe everything, searching day and night for any red flags that might potentially spell out disaster for us or the relationship.
We’re cynical – While we try to be optimistic about things, we also can’t help but acknowledge the way things are. Reality is what keeps us grounded. We know that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and that things don’t always last forever. We know that people will get bored with one another and move on eventually.
We love unconditionally – But that doesn’t keep us from loving with an unrelenting fervor.
We give our partners as much love as we can because we know that nurturing the flame of a relationship takes a steady, careful effort. We want it to last, so we tend to give a lot of love.